People Watching in ENG 318

The other day in my Shakespeare's Comedies and Histories class I soon became bored with the fourth day ofRichard II lectures and couldn't help but let my eyes wander the classroom and look upon my fellow classmates.  And I have to admit, I was so amused (and probably just so bored) that I was inspired to create a blog post about my people watching experience.

Let's begin with my professor.  Upon first glance, it would appear the Head of the English Department wears an extraordinary amount of layers of clothing on any given day, layering an assortment of sweaters, vests, blazers, and button-up shirts, all in muted shades of blues and greens.  His outfits are always completed with his favorite accessory - a ring that brings to mind Green Lantern's Power Ring.  Though I've never seen Green Lantern, I can't help but wonder if the professor is going to suddenly demonstrate his amazing super powers and suddenly make this class more entertaining, because at this point that may be the only thing that will make the story of how Bolingbroke gained the British crown remotely interesting.

As we move on to the girl sitting directly in front of me, I can only wonder when showing your bra straps ever became a popular fashion trend.  Is it to show that you're proud of wearing a bra?  Well, WHOOPIE for you!  I'm very proud you're a 'lady' now, but honey, bras are not as fun as little kids imagine them to be.  Let's face it the truth here.  They pinch on the sides, ride up, and 9 times out of 10 just downright uncomfortable.  The only time it is acceptable to show your bra straps is if you're working the burlesque circuit.  If you are, then show 'em proudly.  But if you're in a Shakespeare class, wear a shirt with actual sleeves, and tuck 'em away.  And a side note - please be kind and keep your hair off my desk and my textbook.  Sure, it smells super nice, but I really don't need it all over my belongings.  Next time, I'm shutting your locks in my book and pulling - HARD.

Why is it such a complicated task for girls to cross their legs (or just keep their knees closed) when wearing skirts/dresses?  Which brings me to the girl a few people away from me.  Sure, you've got super slender legs (I'm forever jealous), but you don't have a right to spread eagle in the middle of class when you're wearing a super short dress.  Or anytime for that matter.  You wanna spread?  Do it at home.  Or someplace where I don't have to see it, I really don't care.  I just hope you were wearing underwear.  Either way, I feel bad for the professor who I'm sure may have wanted to burn his eyeballs out after your little display. 

To the girl across the room on Twitter and looking at pictures on Google - STOP IT!!!!!  YOU'RE IN CLASS!!!!  (I know jotting down notes to make this post isn't exactly paying attention but I wasn't on a computer tweeting or looking at pictures of Ryan Gosling, I was writing notes for my blog in the margins of my class notes - much more discreet)

And to the kind in the corner of the room sleeping... WAKE UP!  If I have to stay awake, and pretend to listen, then SO DO YOU.